Silencing the Inner Critic
Guest Blog from Danielle Isaac, Energized Businesses
Do you beat yourself up for making mistakes?
Imagine this… you’ve just returned from a networking event. You’ve made some new connections, but you got so busy afterward that you forgot to follow up with the people you promised you’d connect with. What do you do? Do you feel bad and decide not to reach out, assuming it’s too late, or do you recognize making mistakes is a natural process of learning and reach out anyway?
If you said you would assume it’s too late and not reach out, you’re not alone. This is how most people operate, and it’s why those who promised to reach out to you haven’t reached out either. You could argue that it’s because they were too busy, but we all have the same amount of time. We all get 24 hours in a day. It’s how we choose to use it that matters.
The truth is, feeling bad about mistakes is quite common, and yet, all of us make them! As babies, we learn to walk by falling down. As adults, it’s no different. Mistakes are a great sign of growth. It shows that we are learning something new. Something we are not adept at.
In fact, if you aren’t making mistakes, it means you’re NOT growing. It’s a sign of stagnation and being stuck in your comfort zone. As entrepreneurs, growth is essential, which means making mistakes is essential too. So how do you get rid of that bad feeling when you make mistakes then?
The first key is to recognize what your mind is telling you. All bad feelings derive from your thoughts. The problem is when you assume all your thoughts are true. Yet, your thoughts are based on old beliefs you picked up as a kid. If a teacher or parent scolded you for making mistakes, you probably developed a belief that mistakes were bad. It’s this old belief that is causing you to feel bad now and preventing you from trying new things.
It’s time to recognize it for what it really is… an old belief that no longer serves you!
At this point, it’s time for a new belief, one that doesn’t make you feel bad every time you mess up. In fact, wouldn’t it be great if you felt proud of stepping out there and doing things that you aren’t so good at yet? For taking the risks and doing the things that will cause you to grow?
Imagine what you would say to a child if you saw them get out there and do something that was risky or scary to them. Even if they made a mistake, you would encourage them to keep trying knowing they will get better with practice.
Well, this is what you need to do for yourself as well - cheer yourself on rather than waiting for someone else to. It's important to be patient and encouraging with yourself. Remind that part of you that is critiquing you (your inner critic) that mistakes are good and it’s how you learn. Give yourself encouragement for trying. Say to yourself, “I’m proud of myself for giving it a try. Even it’s not perfect, it’s better than not trying at all. I’m learning from all of this.
Going forward, start repeating your new belief that mistakes are a good thing and a sign of growth. Sure, they are uncomfortable. Sure, you feel embarrassed when you make them. But with time, and repeating your new belief that mistakes are good, you will feel much better about yourself when you make them, and you will be role modeling for others too.
Giving others permission to make mistakes, being patient with those that do, creates a much kinder and more compassionate world. We could all benefit from such a world as we give one another permission to grow without always being perfect.
To learn more about overcoming your inner critic, which is that part that loves to beat you up for all kinds of things that are just a part of being human, be sure to read my latest guide, FREE YOURSELF: 7 STEPS TO OVERCOMING SELF-SABOTAGE AND INNER CRITICISM.
This is a great guide to let go of the guilt and free yourself from feeling bad for just being human. Embrace your mistakes! Embrace being you!